Saturday, April 14, 2012

All Things Considered...

After spending another week here in sunny San Diego, there are a few things I have considered that I never thought I would. 1) Converting to Catholicism 2) throwing Ralph Otis over a cliff into the ocean and 3) doing a stint in prison. Now you may be wondering why or you may be thinking this is normal, but let me elaborate to some degree.

First of all, I could definitely be a Catholic. Last Saturday, the hubs and I attended his cousin's baptism into the Catholic church. Apparently, he had been wanting to be Catholic for a long time, but just hadn't had the time to get baptized. We had a really good dinner at his house consisting of pizza and salad before heading over to the church which was not only baptizing adult members that night, but also holding its Easter mass. My husband's cousin was the first to leave the house, as he had to be there early, and when he walked out of his room wearing swim trunks and a t-shirt, I knew we were in for an interesting night. Before that night, I had never had the opportunity to attend any kind of mass in my life. I grew up Mormon and most everybody else around me was a southern baptist, leaving little to my religious repertoire. I have, however, seen many a movie in which the characters go into a Catholic church, light a candle or two, kneel to pray to the hanging Jesus, and then cross themselves with holy water before exiting. Needless to say, I really didn't know what to expect except boredom and lots of Latin. When we arrived, they gave us a candle to light for later in the service. I was excited because for some reason, when given a candle, I all of a sudden feel like I have super powers as if I'm going to take over the world with my flame that I didn't have to pay for myself!! When we sat down, I realized I was thirsty and my MIL and I went on a trek to find water. What we found was a group of people behind the church holding lit candles and swaying around a huge bonfire. When we tried to look to see what was going on, the people in the circle gave us stink eyes to let us know that we were not invited to the party. We still aren't really sure what was going on, but it was kinda weird even if it was church related. But I love bonfires, so I was slightly jealous of them. When the service started, the lights suddenly went out and the singing and incense tossing began. It was creepy at first because I didn't know what was happening and I thought maybe this was a continuation of the weirdness we witnessed outside, but things got progressively better after that. I was greatly surprised at the spirit that I felt there. The music was fantastic and the people who sang had beautiful, clear voices. Even the organ had a perfect sound that resonated through the walls of the church. All of the songs were a reminder of Christ's resurrection and helped me to truly feel the spirit of Easter, which is something that I sometimes disregard at my own church. As I sat there listening to the music, and appreciating the tradition of the Catholic religion, I thought to myself, I could be a Catholic if only to listen to this music and kneel to pray to my Heavenly Father in this simple, peaceful place of worship. Afterwards, there was an after party in the cultural hall in which everyone got pretty buzzed on the beer and wine that was served (again, Catholics are awesome) and then we all went home.

Another thing I have considered is throwing Ralph Otis over a cliff into the deep blue sea. This dog was not made for adventure of any sort and it is about time he learned to suck it up and maybe a dive in the ocean is just what he needs. What I know is that Ralph Otis is terrified of many things; sliding doors, blow dryers, vacuum cleaners, porter potties, hardwood floors, computer cords, hairbrushes, cats, dogs, my brother-in-law, and beaches. What he is NOT afraid of are things that can actually hurt him like oncoming traffic. I know this because my brother- and sister-in-law took him for a walk to Starbucks and he must have gotten spooked by something inanimate/harmless, got out of his leash, and bolted into the middle of the street towards my MIL's house. Before my brother-in-law even realized what had happened, Ralph Otis was almost home and running down the middle of a semi-busy road. Although the miracle lies in the fact that he didn't get hit by a car, the true miracle is that he knew how to get home without an adult present. He could have gotten lost in a canyon near their house. Although this dog seems really stupid because what isn't more stupid than running towards moving vehicles 10 times your size, he can be quite amazing sometimes in what he knows. Despite the fact he likes to run towards the face of danger, he runs away from the fun activities we try to introduce him to, like the beach. Yesterday, we took him to La Jolla beach so that he could get in the sand and near the water. We took him to a little hidden cove with sand and rocks and a slightly moving shoreline so that he could put his paws in the water. But, alas, no this was not going to happen. He was shaking profusely and acting as if I was going to throw him into a steaming pot of hot lava. Finally, I picked him up and tried to throw him in the water, but his claws were buried too deep into my skin to actually do this. I then put him down NEAR the shore line and when the water came to the edge of his claw, he cowered backward as if the water were going to eat him. So annoying! I finally agreed that it was time to take him back up to the grass and then he enjoyed an afternoon of chasing teeny, tiny baby squirrels because those, unlike sand and water, can't hurt him. With all of that being said, I would like to do what the therapists do on that show Obsessed, and do some exposure therapy in which I toss him into the water and force him to swim out. It would have to be on a cliff above the water because, as I just described, starting at the beach is not an option, he will just go run off into some traffic to get away. Ugh! So dumb!

 You can't tell, but Ralph is terrified!
 Ralphy running away from the water again
These are the baby squirrels that were all over the beach. Ralph thought he would get one. Didn't happen. 

Lastly, after watching a season and a half of Prison Break and going to the Brig with my father-in-law, I have decided that I could serve some time in prison and be okay with it. It looks pretty easy to me. You make good friends there...and bad, which leads to a lot of drama (which I like :)) you have a lot of free time for reading books, and you can take classes like Yoga and computer. I realize that I have a very limited view/understanding of what it's really like in prison and I know that I would never want to end up there, however, from what I have seen, it doesn't seem horrible. Last night, my father-in-law took me to the military Brig in San Diego for an appreciation dinner for all of the volunteers. My father-in-law volunteers as a Mormon "chaplain" on Wednesday nights so he goes every year to the dinner. My mother-in-law didn't want to go since she has to lose 15 pounds for my husband's graduation and didn't want to be tempted by all the food, so I got to take her place. My father-in-law took me the back way so that I could get a view of the prison and the cells. After watching Prison Break, I was very interested to see if the cells were similar. They were not. In fact, what I saw was what looked to be almost like a high school, a newly built high school with classrooms, computer labs, a library, etc...and the cells had doors instead of bars and prisoners all hung out in a sitting area around their cells watching tv and hanging out in their military ACUs. As I walked down these halls, I couldn't help but think that this place couldn't be all that bad, although the men in the cells probably, no definitely, think otherwise. We then entered the gym where there was a fantastic display of food and carved fruit displays and beautiful flower arrangements on the tables. A band of prisoners played some really cheesy jazz music in the corner and another group of prisoners served the food. It was delicious and since it was only a medium security prison, we could trust that the food wasn't poisoned. In fact, all of the prisoners were really nice and quite helpful, not that I expected them to be mean, but it was a very nice event put on by the prisoners to say thank you to those who help them. We heard a great speech by one of the preachers who volunteers there who spoke about the importance of volunteering and service. My favorite speech of the night was by an actual prisoner who shared his gratitude for the work that these men and women provide. He even wrote a poem in which every other word rhymed with "volunteer." It was funny, yet moving. Throughout the night, as more people spoke about all the services that are provided for these men and women, it was touching to know that there were people out there who believe that a life is a terrible thing to waste because of one mistake and they have given these individuals a second chance.

All things considered, I think that maybe I won't be Catholic because I really do love my religion, and maybe I won't throw Ralph Otis over a cliff because that's dangerous and he might die, and maybe I don't want to be in jail because it's a semi-nice place to visit but who would want to live there? In all, I believe that I have a pretty awesome life as a Mormon with a scaredy-cat dog and a clean record. I did, however, enjoy stepping out of my small box into another with new experiences and insights on how other people live. Maybe next week, I will visit a synagogue and take Ralph Otis sky-diving...

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